Halloween

So anyone that knows me knows that I love Halloween! So after our friend cancelled the party last minute we took it on and had it at our house. It was so fun to see that everyone dressed up.

                    Most of these guys are drews friends so I will spare you all the names because I might screw it up. I was so surprised at how many people were there. And very excited that everyone dressed up!

                                                 This is the girls. Myself, Franny, Windhams wife                              (forgive  me I dont know her name), Madison, Sammie, & Ashley.

I was so proud of my costume. I was a little out of place, but thats ok because I dont do the skimpy costumes. So I make mine. And the makeup was all me too. I was pretty proud how it came out.

     
  This is our beloved Drew. He wanted to be the Green Man. Its off a very silly show he watches called, It's Always Sunny in Philidelphia. He loved it and thought he was so cool.

    And last but not least I was definitely the scarest person there but I borrowed this wig and sold it completely. lol Look out for Zombies.

It's just not our time yet...

 It's not something we ever talk about. It's  not something many people know, but today with another great defeat and struggle I just want to admit it out loud. I want more than anything in the world to be a mom. It seems everyone around is announcing their wonderful new addition on the way. I can't ever wish bad luck to anyone else and I can honestly say I am truly happy for anyone who truly wants to be a parent and that dream becomes a reality.  But today I just want hold my own... or see those two pink lines on the stick. To smell that new baby smell, or even to wake up at 4 am to the cries of my baby boy or girl. I have to stay positive and believe is us and my dr. but today is not that day. I pray and hope... I guess its just not our time yet....

Vaca part 2- Sea World

The last day we were in California we went to Sea World. It was truly amazing. I have never been and my hopes and imagination didn't even come close to how that day went. We saw every show possible. Starting with the seal show. Those seals are so smart. I have no idea how they balance that big ball on their little nose. Then we went to the Dolphin show. I have loved dolphins all my life and have asked for a dolphin for my birthday at least 4 different years. I think one day Drew will just get fed up and buy me a stuffed animal or something. lol


We saw every exhibit and show possible. The whale show was truly a once in a lifetime experience. How you train an animal of that magnitude escapes me completely. As the day was coming to a close my most anticipated part was soon approaching and I could barely wait. I was going to finally get to swim with dolphins. I have dreamt about this for so long. My wonderful husband made it possible. He didn't do it himself because it was very expense... bless his heart. I got to learn basic commands that they respond to. I kissed Tobey's back and learned so much about how they live, learn, and the demeanor of these beautiful creatures. I just want one more now. It was like a dream come true.

I don't think I will soon be forgetting anything about that vacation. It was easily the greatest week of my life.
That day the sun was hot with no clouds in the sky. Unfortunately for me that meant a nice sunburn. I have never been so burned in my life. I was sick, fever, nausea and it was totally worth everything!

California Vaca

So I looked at my blog today and realized how incredibly behind I am. I am going to try and catch up.

In May we went to California for our "post deployment" vacation. It was truly the best vacation I have ever been on. We spent 3 days in Disneyland. It was amazing... the creativity, time, design, and lots and lots of money. I felt like a kid again. I wanted to go on every single ride, whether it was intended for children or adults. I nearly accomplished that desire only missing it by 2 rides. We also went to California Adventure during those 3 days. While there I went to a 3D viewing of A Bug's Life and was the coolest thing I've ever seen. Besides the 3D effects there were life size bugs around us, our chairs moved, and we were even sprayed by acid by one bug (it was water of course). It was something I hope to never forget.

The next day we decided to go to Universal studios, which wasn't part of our original plan but I am so glad that we went. There was a 3D production of Terminator that was about as close to actually being in the Terminator that you could get. They had guns shooting around us, the seats moving left and right, actual terminators that were probably close to 12 feet tall. It was amazing. We took of tour of the Studios at the end of the day and I was able to see real sets for movies. As we rode the bus down the streets, every street was a different time and era. One one old western streets, the next was european buildings, and the next was the streets of New York. It was so amazing. During the tour we went into a tunnel and were transformed into a new world. King Kongs world. With videos surrounding our tunnel and 3D glasses on I was in a new place. Dinasours were trying to kill us and eat us. They blew snot on me and took a chuck out of our bus. And then King kong was there to save us. It was so amazing. I cant explain how unbelieveable that experiance was. I will never forget it!

Family pics!

While we were home my wonderful sister in law took new pictures of me and drew. I just wanted to share a few of them.

Goin home

SO my last post kind of ties into this one... If I hadn't quit my job I wouldn't of have the opportunity to go home and spend time with my family this past month. They would not of given me the time off and I would of missed a wonderful opportunity to spend time with drew and our families. We spent a week with his dad and Lori which we thoroughly enjoyed. We then drove to Moscow Idaho spent and spent the weekend with my wonderful brother in-law and had my first "frat" experience. All I can say about that is oh my!!!! The following week we had the opportunity to stay with my oldest brother Jake. I have to say I had no desire to leave. I love my family so much and have missed so much in my nieces and nephews lives. They are growing up so fast and are changing every day. Sometimes its so hard being in Colorado when all of my family is in Idaho. I also realized while I was there how close my siblings have gotten. It was really touching to see the banter and love that filled the room when my family gets together. My father would truly be touched. I was so filled with emotion of being home that leaving was so much harder than each time before. Just writing about it brings me to tears. I love my family so much and am truly blessed to have each and every one of them. The loyalty and service each of my siblings and their spouses possess is truly honorable. ... Ok I have to stop talking now I'm getting to mushy and emotional. lol

"I QUIT"

So I need to catch up on some of the things that have gone on in the last few months. I had been working in a salon in Colorado Springs for about a year and a half. Drew had been deployed for nearly 8 months and the holidays were approaching. I had been working 6 days a week and dedicating pretty much all my time to my job and requested some time off to be with my family for the holidays. I was refused any time for Thanksgiving, Christmas, or New years. So after struggling for quite sometime I decided to quit. Disregarding the fact that I was nearly alone in Colorado and all my friends and family were in Idaho it was a very hard decision. I can say months later that... A- I was addicted to work and sorta "checked out" of my own life and B- it was one of the best decisions I have ever made. It gave me the opportunity to work on myself, my marriage, (as much as you can from half a world away) become closer with my family, and probably more importantly my relationship with my father in heaven. I was given the opportunity to actually attend church every Sunday, have family dinners with my family again, and so much more. I'm so thankful for the support of my husband to allow me to make that very difficult decision. I have to also mention that in the last month my job contacted me and asked if I would like to come back and I didn't hesitate at all saying I'm honored but am happy where I am.

He's Home!!!

So I know I am horrible at keeping up with this blogging thing... but what can I say life has gotten so busy. As everyone should know by now Drew is finally home from Iraq. I could not be happier. That last month was quite possibly the longest month ever! But he's been home for about 6 weeks now and everything is falling into place once again. As cliche as it sounds... deployment strengthened us so much. It is the smallest things that mean the most... crawling into bed with him, having someone help change the oil in the vehicles, or just listening to me ramble about my most recent zumba class. I just know that I really love him. As far as we know we will not have to relocate out of Fort Carson and Colorado and he is not expecting to redeploy for at least a year... and possibly two. We are crossing our fingers and enjoying our life together.

Bad Days

Sometimes it just hits. I have no idea why or what the trigger might be, but all I want to do is cry. We are nearly done now. Its been ten months since Drew was here with me. (well other than those 2 little weeks back in September) But none of that really matters when its 3 am, you've cried for hours and all you want is your husband back. Its weird that I can get upset or frustrated when I see a post on Facebook saying "I miss my husband so much he's been out of town all week." Sometimes I just want to scream, "Shutup I havent seen mine all year." But I know that is not fair and I am merely jealous. So tonight after wallowing in my self pity for hours I decided to write. Its probably not anything anyone cares to read... but it might help me get some sleep. I guess its the little things I miss the most tonight. The way we used to talk for hours and laugh at the stupidest things. The afternoons we spent playing mario brothers, teasing and harrassing each other the entire time. But I think what I miss most is just being held. I'm scared sometimes that this deployment has changed us so much that we don't know how to act any more. That we have tried so long to be strong and brave, that we dont know how to rely on the other for that moment we need it most. You learn to be strong. And you learn to say things like "you get used to it.", "Only two more months." and "I'm fine." But deep down I know we are both screaming "Not good enough I want her/him now!" So tonight I clinge to the memories and remember to get on my knees a little more than usual. I end this post with a video Drew made for me about a month ago. It has done more for me than he will ever know....... Hurry home my soldier.http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VOkkDBqkrrc

Sorry it wouldnt let me just download the video so I had to just use a link... If you cant see it and are interested just let me know.