Dreams do come true

    Well as most everyone know by know... that Drew and I are about to embark upon the greatest blessing and challenge of our future; parenthood. I have wanted this for so long and have dreamt of this day for years and years.
             I still remember the nights I cried silent tears to myself wishing I could be a mother. I remember the dozens of single pink lines I threw in the garbage in frustration. And in one moment that all changed. New Years Day morning I awake and I knew it was time for my monthly pee on a stick. I had already made up my mind that it was not my time and not to get my hopes up to much. Two minutes later I was screaming in disbelief and shock as I finally saw those 2 pink lines.  I have never felt such utter and complete elation.
          Its been 8 and a half months since that glorious day and I have since then experianced all the many wonderful moments of pregnancy. All the aches and pains. The dozens of trips to the little girls room, and the blessed flutters and kicks of my little baby. I sometimes get wrapped up in the small nuisances of pregnancy but overall I have completely falling in love with my little baby boy. I still just sit and grin to watch him kick and bounce across my big belly.  I am truly blessed and unbelievably thankful for this blessing in my life. I do believe we have picked out a name for my little boy and we will call him Lucas Andrew.

            Little Lucas will be here with us within the next 3 weeks and I can barely stand the anticipation at this point. I can not wait to meet him and begin the next chapter of our lives. I love him so much already I just cant imagine life without him, and he's not even in my arms yet. I have been so blessed and not a day goes by that I don't thank my father in heaven for bringing us this little boy. I also have to say that all those shooting stars and days and days of wishing for my own little one at 11:11 were not in vain. lol :)

Total Late night Rant!

So I know blogs are suppose to be happy and uplifting, but tonight so not my goal. I have had one of the most stressful and scary months of my life ...(no need to go into details at this time) but it bothers me so much and makes me plain angry how people can turn their heads and walk away.

      I have a few very close people that I talk to when things in life are rough and I guess I should realize by now that a certain saying should being my motto for a while.

             I hold certain people so close to my heart. They are kind and compassionate and seem to say the right things, but just as easy they forget you. I can not comprehend how my "best friends" have been to me lately. I call them crying and pooring some of the deepest things to them and then I dont hear a word for over two weeks. I dont understand it. It hurts and makes me angry and more than anything I am finally realizing that it is not because of my flaws but because of theirs. They are simply wrapped up in their own lives. They care when its convieniant and want to appear a great deal more compassionate than that which truly resides in their heart.   On the flip side I do see who are my true friends and really care. I find love and compassion in places I didn't expect it or look for it first. Its true what they say for sure thou... Family is always there. Whether it's my wonderful sister, cousin, or an unexpected inlaw; I am thankful for the angels here on earth.

The meaning of Christmas

    We got to go home for Christmas this year and be together! It is amazing how much more it meant to me to just to be together and to be with our families. I got to meet my other brother in-laws and their fiances. Zack and Josh are just delightful men. I felt more a part of the family than I ever thought I would that fast. The Girton's always welcome us with more love and care than ever anticipated. I just love my In-law family!
         On Christmas Eve we went to my brother Zacks house for appetizers, presents, and the much anticipated Fireworks!! I couldn't wait; I couldn't wait to see everyone open what I got them, to see the smiles on those kids faces. To see the love in our family that is the meaning of Christmas to me. To finish the evening off we lit these huge fireworks off that I got from Wyoming. The kids were screaming and squelling. Oh it was simply priceless. At the end of the evening we went back to Jeff and Lori's house. Everyone was sitting around in their pjs just waiting for us to get home so we could open ours. After putting our new pjs on I began to share a Larsen tradition with my other family. The Christmas Orange Story. Its a very touching story that has been told to me as a child and I have continued it as my own tradition. As I read this story Drew stood near by peeling  one medium orange to split amongst the 9 of us sitting around. Upon finishing a story I have read or heard more than a dozen times I broke down in tears. My Father came to mind and his great spirit of Christmas that he held in his heart. He was so inspiring to me about what we need to remember each Christmas season. This holiday is about the birth of Christ and the sacrafices he made for us. Its about giving not recieving. Its about Family! I love my families so much and so blessed to have all that I have! I am sad that its already the new year, just because I love Christmas so much!!
            I was horrible about taking pictures this trip, so when I gather what I took I will add them.

Halloween

So anyone that knows me knows that I love Halloween! So after our friend cancelled the party last minute we took it on and had it at our house. It was so fun to see that everyone dressed up.

                    Most of these guys are drews friends so I will spare you all the names because I might screw it up. I was so surprised at how many people were there. And very excited that everyone dressed up!

                                                 This is the girls. Myself, Franny, Windhams wife                              (forgive  me I dont know her name), Madison, Sammie, & Ashley.

I was so proud of my costume. I was a little out of place, but thats ok because I dont do the skimpy costumes. So I make mine. And the makeup was all me too. I was pretty proud how it came out.

     
  This is our beloved Drew. He wanted to be the Green Man. Its off a very silly show he watches called, It's Always Sunny in Philidelphia. He loved it and thought he was so cool.

    And last but not least I was definitely the scarest person there but I borrowed this wig and sold it completely. lol Look out for Zombies.

It's just not our time yet...

 It's not something we ever talk about. It's  not something many people know, but today with another great defeat and struggle I just want to admit it out loud. I want more than anything in the world to be a mom. It seems everyone around is announcing their wonderful new addition on the way. I can't ever wish bad luck to anyone else and I can honestly say I am truly happy for anyone who truly wants to be a parent and that dream becomes a reality.  But today I just want hold my own... or see those two pink lines on the stick. To smell that new baby smell, or even to wake up at 4 am to the cries of my baby boy or girl. I have to stay positive and believe is us and my dr. but today is not that day. I pray and hope... I guess its just not our time yet....

Vaca part 2- Sea World

The last day we were in California we went to Sea World. It was truly amazing. I have never been and my hopes and imagination didn't even come close to how that day went. We saw every show possible. Starting with the seal show. Those seals are so smart. I have no idea how they balance that big ball on their little nose. Then we went to the Dolphin show. I have loved dolphins all my life and have asked for a dolphin for my birthday at least 4 different years. I think one day Drew will just get fed up and buy me a stuffed animal or something. lol


We saw every exhibit and show possible. The whale show was truly a once in a lifetime experience. How you train an animal of that magnitude escapes me completely. As the day was coming to a close my most anticipated part was soon approaching and I could barely wait. I was going to finally get to swim with dolphins. I have dreamt about this for so long. My wonderful husband made it possible. He didn't do it himself because it was very expense... bless his heart. I got to learn basic commands that they respond to. I kissed Tobey's back and learned so much about how they live, learn, and the demeanor of these beautiful creatures. I just want one more now. It was like a dream come true.

I don't think I will soon be forgetting anything about that vacation. It was easily the greatest week of my life.
That day the sun was hot with no clouds in the sky. Unfortunately for me that meant a nice sunburn. I have never been so burned in my life. I was sick, fever, nausea and it was totally worth everything!

California Vaca

So I looked at my blog today and realized how incredibly behind I am. I am going to try and catch up.

In May we went to California for our "post deployment" vacation. It was truly the best vacation I have ever been on. We spent 3 days in Disneyland. It was amazing... the creativity, time, design, and lots and lots of money. I felt like a kid again. I wanted to go on every single ride, whether it was intended for children or adults. I nearly accomplished that desire only missing it by 2 rides. We also went to California Adventure during those 3 days. While there I went to a 3D viewing of A Bug's Life and was the coolest thing I've ever seen. Besides the 3D effects there were life size bugs around us, our chairs moved, and we were even sprayed by acid by one bug (it was water of course). It was something I hope to never forget.

The next day we decided to go to Universal studios, which wasn't part of our original plan but I am so glad that we went. There was a 3D production of Terminator that was about as close to actually being in the Terminator that you could get. They had guns shooting around us, the seats moving left and right, actual terminators that were probably close to 12 feet tall. It was amazing. We took of tour of the Studios at the end of the day and I was able to see real sets for movies. As we rode the bus down the streets, every street was a different time and era. One one old western streets, the next was european buildings, and the next was the streets of New York. It was so amazing. During the tour we went into a tunnel and were transformed into a new world. King Kongs world. With videos surrounding our tunnel and 3D glasses on I was in a new place. Dinasours were trying to kill us and eat us. They blew snot on me and took a chuck out of our bus. And then King kong was there to save us. It was so amazing. I cant explain how unbelieveable that experiance was. I will never forget it!